it was all a fucking lie

every single “i love you”

all the nights we spent together.

it meant nothing to you.

and you said you were sorry.

but you’re not.

you left me when i was crying for help.

you took every last bit of hope i had and set it on fire.

so fuck you.

fuck you for making me believe

that there was something there,

when you know there wasn’t.

you make me sick.

but you taught me a valuable lesson,

cheaters will always be cheaters.



i didn’t realize

i was in love with her

until she started hurting

and it broke me to pieces.

her eyes filled with tears

and i felt every part of me shatter.

her sadness made me want to give her

every sliver of happiness i have.

i want to give her the world.

i want to see her smile

and hear her laugh.

i want to hold her hand

and tell her she’s beautiful.

i want her to show her she’s worth

so much more

than how she feels.

but sexuality is a road block.

for all i know, she doesn’t see me

in the same light i see her.

she is a goddess

and i’m just her best friend.

i guess i’ll just admire her from afar.

until then, i’ll never let her forget

that she’s worth something

and she deserves the world.




my clothes smell like you.

songs remind me of you.

when i can’t sleep at night

all i want

is to wrap my arms around you.

but you’re not here,

and you’re not there.

you’ve moved on

and you’re tired of hearing about it.

my name stings your tongue

and fills you with hatred.

you said you loved me,

but i’m beginning to see

that it was all a lie.

you never wanted me.

you wanted someone to fuck.

and i’m sorry for being brutal

but you fucked me up.

i gave you my whole heart

and in return,

i received nothing.

you never showed affection.

you never said i love you.

you never gave me the time of day

to prove that i was worth something.

and i want you to know

that now that you’re gone,

i will be too.

but much farther away.

ill be sitting among the nymphs,

watching you,

protecting you.

because even though

you wasted months of my life,

i loved you

and i would never

wish harm upon you.

i hope you’re happier now,

because i know

that soon enough,

i’ll be happier too.




you put up walls

i can feel ties breaking

am i really worth your time

do you really want me around

i only want you to be happy

but i feel like i’m not providing that

we don’t share the same energy anymore

or maybe it’s just off

but either way

i feel like a burden to you

i honestly believe

that you’re going to leave me


i feel like this was a breaking point

and now you’re over it

and you want to love me

but you can’t

you don’t feel the desire to

there’s no spark

you seem so distant.

i slept on my own last night.

you were by my side

but you were facing the other way

you didn’t hold me like you usually do

you didn’t kiss me

or tell me you loved me

and yet again

i’m laying here by myself

while you face the other direction

do you still want me around

am i still worth something to you




people want you to fall in love with them.

they like the attention.

so they flirt.

and they smile.

and they play your heart strings.

but that’s not love.

that’s what they want you to think.

love doesn’t happen automatically.

love is supposed to take time.

and you know it’s real when you try to deny it

but it keeps coming back to you

you love them

you love the way they hold your hand

and you love the way they sing along to music

and you love their laugh

and you love how you never feel alone with them.

as if the whole world doesn’t matter

because they’re holding you during a movie

and subconsciously memorizing the way your hands feel in theirs.

and you can cry in front of them.

and you can sleep on their chest.

and you know it’s real because you’re happy.

and this kind of happiness doesn’t come from a picture perfect relationship.

it comes from someone who’s real with you.

someone who doesn’t hold you back.

someone who cares about you more than themselves.

that’s what’s real.




the water had turned a deep rusty color

and her cuts throbbed as she stepped out of the bath onto the cold tile floor

she examined what she had done

regret filled her heart

but she knew she couldn’t stop

as the night ticked on, she found more reasons to hate herself, more reasons to drive a blade into her skin and leave herself bleeding on the floor.

crimson rain fell to the ground and splattered with incredible elegance. she watched as the skin parted and silver flesh turned to a beautiful wine color.

the surrounding skin turned pink and became irritated.

she felt the wounds with her finger tips. surveying the depth of the cut and the width of the marks she had just left on her skin. she enjoyed looking at how far the deep cuts split her forearms open.

she dare not show or tell anyone about these nights. but they would find out, as she would soon be in the hospital, with many people wondering why..