break

people don’t realize

the severity of their words

until it’s too late.

they spit out hatred

and belittle others

all for the pleasure

of their own.

those words

e c h o

in people’s minds.

they tear them down,

and keep them up at night.

scars line their bodies,

and every single one

is from a different insult.

migraines and panic attacks

ensue regularly.

depression takes its toll.

it consumes all of you,

and you’re constantly running

from something

you can’t escape.

silent screams form

a barrier

around someone.

walls are put up

and isolation

is the only way

to feel whole.

nights get longer.

thoughts get louder.

until suddenly,

they break.

grasping for hope,

or anything that will

give them reason to stay.

but as everything billows up,

it gets harder

to handle.

and letting go

seems like the easiest option.

and now all that’s left

is the quiet creaking

of a rope tied to the ceiling fan,

and a body drained of color.

hearts break

and people grieve.

but they didn’t know

how badly that soul was aching.

or how much

it longed for a release.

no one realizes

that their words

can bring death.

or that they

can impact someone

so severely

until it’s too late.

v.w.

07.14.19

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you

i still think of you

the way you held me

the way your lips tasted

the feeling of your skin against mine

i miss they way we used to laugh

i miss falling asleep in your arms

i miss kissing you

i miss holding your hand

and seeing you smile

i loved you more

than you did me

i always have

and you proved that to me

i gave you everything i had

and you threw it in the dirt

and when i was small

and helpless

you abandoned me

i want you

to love me

to make me feel wanted

i want to give you

everything you couldn’t give me

because it’s what you deserve

and despite what you did

i’ve never been this hung up

on someone

you still give me butterflies

and i’ve moved on

but you’re still stuck

in my fucking head

why can’t i let you go

v.w

07.10.19

her

i didn’t realize

i was in love with her

until she started hurting

and it broke me to pieces.

her eyes filled with tears

and i felt every part of me shatter.

her sadness made me want to give her

every sliver of happiness i have.

i want to give her the world.

i want to see her smile

and hear her laugh.

i want to hold her hand

and tell her she’s beautiful.

i want her to show her she’s worth

so much more

than how she feels.

but sexuality is a road block.

for all i know, she doesn’t see me

in the same light i see her.

she is a goddess

and i’m just her best friend.

i guess i’ll just admire her from afar.

until then, i’ll never let her forget

that she’s worth something

and she deserves the world.

v.w.

5.10.19

gone

my clothes smell like you.

songs remind me of you.

when i can’t sleep at night

all i want

is to wrap my arms around you.

but you’re not here,

and you’re not there.

you’ve moved on

and you’re tired of hearing about it.

my name stings your tongue

and fills you with hatred.

you said you loved me,

but i’m beginning to see

that it was all a lie.

you never wanted me.

you wanted someone to fuck.

and i’m sorry for being brutal

but you fucked me up.

i gave you my whole heart

and in return,

i received nothing.

you never showed affection.

you never said i love you.

you never gave me the time of day

to prove that i was worth something.

and i want you to know

that now that you’re gone,

i will be too.

but much farther away.

ill be sitting among the nymphs,

watching you,

protecting you.

because even though

you wasted months of my life,

i loved you

and i would never

wish harm upon you.

i hope you’re happier now,

because i know

that soon enough,

i’ll be happier too.

v.w.

4.19.19

distance

you put up walls

i can feel ties breaking

am i really worth your time

do you really want me around

i only want you to be happy

but i feel like i’m not providing that

we don’t share the same energy anymore

or maybe it’s just off

but either way

i feel like a burden to you

i honestly believe

that you’re going to leave me

soon

i feel like this was a breaking point

and now you’re over it

and you want to love me

but you can’t

you don’t feel the desire to

there’s no spark

you seem so distant.

i slept on my own last night.

you were by my side

but you were facing the other way

you didn’t hold me like you usually do

you didn’t kiss me

or tell me you loved me

and yet again

i’m laying here by myself

while you face the other direction

do you still want me around

am i still worth something to you

v.w.

3.24.19

real

people want you to fall in love with them.

they like the attention.

so they flirt.

and they smile.

and they play your heart strings.

but that’s not love.

that’s what they want you to think.

love doesn’t happen automatically.

love is supposed to take time.

and you know it’s real when you try to deny it

but it keeps coming back to you

you love them

you love the way they hold your hand

and you love the way they sing along to music

and you love their laugh

and you love how you never feel alone with them.

as if the whole world doesn’t matter

because they’re holding you during a movie

and subconsciously memorizing the way your hands feel in theirs.

and you can cry in front of them.

and you can sleep on their chest.

and you know it’s real because you’re happy.

and this kind of happiness doesn’t come from a picture perfect relationship.

it comes from someone who’s real with you.

someone who doesn’t hold you back.

someone who cares about you more than themselves.

that’s what’s real.

v.w.

3.12.19

split skin

(tw)

i miss the feeling

of driving a blade

into my skin

and tearing the layers apart.

i miss the feeling

of the sting

once the cuts have been made.

i miss the feeling

of blood

dripping down my arm

into a crimson pool

beside my bed.

there was so much

satisfaction

that came with

hurting myself.

i still feel as if

i deserve it.

i do these things

to myself

so i can feel

something.

anything.