cheat

it was all a fucking lie

every single “i love you”

all the nights we spent together.

it meant nothing to you.

and you said you were sorry.

but you’re not.

you left me when i was crying for help.

you took every last bit of hope i had and set it on fire.

so fuck you.

fuck you for making me believe

that there was something there,

when you know there wasn’t.

you make me sick.

but you taught me a valuable lesson,

cheaters will always be cheaters.

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distance

you put up walls

i can feel ties breaking

am i really worth your time

do you really want me around

i only want you to be happy

but i feel like i’m not providing that

we don’t share the same energy anymore

or maybe it’s just off

but either way

i feel like a burden to you

i honestly believe

that you’re going to leave me

soon

i feel like this was a breaking point

and now you’re over it

and you want to love me

but you can’t

you don’t feel the desire to

there’s no spark

you seem so distant.

i slept on my own last night.

you were by my side

but you were facing the other way

you didn’t hold me like you usually do

you didn’t kiss me

or tell me you loved me

and yet again

i’m laying here by myself

while you face the other direction

do you still want me around

am i still worth something to you

v.w.

3.24.19

crimson

the water had turned a deep rusty color

and her cuts throbbed as she stepped out of the bath onto the cold tile floor

she examined what she had done

regret filled her heart

but she knew she couldn’t stop

as the night ticked on, she found more reasons to hate herself, more reasons to drive a blade into her skin and leave herself bleeding on the floor.

crimson rain fell to the ground and splattered with incredible elegance. she watched as the skin parted and silver flesh turned to a beautiful wine color.

the surrounding skin turned pink and became irritated.

she felt the wounds with her finger tips. surveying the depth of the cut and the width of the marks she had just left on her skin. she enjoyed looking at how far the deep cuts split her forearms open.

she dare not show or tell anyone about these nights. but they would find out, as she would soon be in the hospital, with many people wondering why..