i’ve never felt like i was alone while i was with you
but something changed
you put up walls
and you felt distant
and suddenly i realized
you don’t love me
i say it
you ignore me
i can see the end coming
the end of the tunnel is dark
and it’s lonely
and you’re not there
the water had turned a deep rusty color
and her cuts throbbed as she stepped out of the bath onto the cold tile floor
she examined what she had done
regret filled her heart
but she knew she couldn’t stop
as the night ticked on, she found more reasons to hate herself, more reasons to drive a blade into her skin and leave herself bleeding on the floor.
crimson rain fell to the ground and splattered with incredible elegance. she watched as the skin parted and silver flesh turned to a beautiful wine color.
the surrounding skin turned pink and became irritated.
she felt the wounds with her finger tips. surveying the depth of the cut and the width of the marks she had just left on her skin. she enjoyed looking at how far the deep cuts split her forearms open.
she dare not show or tell anyone about these nights. but they would find out, as she would soon be in the hospital, with many people wondering why..
i can’t stop thinking about the first time i fell asleep wrapped up in your arms.
the way you held me throughout the night, and the way you kissed me.
as time went by, we started seeing more of each other.
and there were forehead kisses, and tickle fights, and we would cuddle on the couch until we fell asleep.
the more we saw each other, the more intimate out visits became.
and i don’t mean sex, i mean little things that you do when you love someone.
like kiss their hands or lock eyes for a second.
and i know all this is going to end.
as much as i want to still call you mine, i know i’m going to be let down.
and i’m going to cry.
and i’m going to regret falling in love with you.
but for now, you are mine. and i’m going to embrace my time with you, before it runs out.
because at the end of the day, at least i can say i was happy.