cheat

it was all a fucking lie

every single “i love you”

all the nights we spent together.

it meant nothing to you.

and you said you were sorry.

but you’re not.

you left me when i was crying for help.

you took every last bit of hope i had and set it on fire.

so fuck you.

fuck you for making me believe

that there was something there,

when you know there wasn’t.

you make me sick.

but you taught me a valuable lesson,

cheaters will always be cheaters.

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gone

my clothes smell like you.

songs remind me of you.

when i can’t sleep at night

all i want

is to wrap my arms around you.

but you’re not here,

and you’re not there.

you’ve moved on

and you’re tired of hearing about it.

my name stings your tongue

and fills you with hatred.

you said you loved me,

but i’m beginning to see

that it was all a lie.

you never wanted me.

you wanted someone to fuck.

and i’m sorry for being brutal

but you fucked me up.

i gave you my whole heart

and in return,

i received nothing.

you never showed affection.

you never said i love you.

you never gave me the time of day

to prove that i was worth something.

and i want you to know

that now that you’re gone,

i will be too.

but much farther away.

ill be sitting among the nymphs,

watching you,

protecting you.

because even though

you wasted months of my life,

i loved you

and i would never

wish harm upon you.

i hope you’re happier now,

because i know

that soon enough,

i’ll be happier too.

v.w.

4.19.19

distance

you put up walls

i can feel ties breaking

am i really worth your time

do you really want me around

i only want you to be happy

but i feel like i’m not providing that

we don’t share the same energy anymore

or maybe it’s just off

but either way

i feel like a burden to you

i honestly believe

that you’re going to leave me

soon

i feel like this was a breaking point

and now you’re over it

and you want to love me

but you can’t

you don’t feel the desire to

there’s no spark

you seem so distant.

i slept on my own last night.

you were by my side

but you were facing the other way

you didn’t hold me like you usually do

you didn’t kiss me

or tell me you loved me

and yet again

i’m laying here by myself

while you face the other direction

do you still want me around

am i still worth something to you

v.w.

3.24.19

split skin

(tw)

i miss the feeling

of driving a blade

into my skin

and tearing the layers apart.

i miss the feeling

of the sting

once the cuts have been made.

i miss the feeling

of blood

dripping down my arm

into a crimson pool

beside my bed.

there was so much

satisfaction

that came with

hurting myself.

i still feel as if

i deserve it.

i do these things

to myself

so i can feel

something.

anything.